Sunday, December 02, 2007


What? He started it.

I'm in Dublin today. It just rains, and rains here and never seems to stop. The two London shows went fairly well. I had been to the Alexandra Palace years ago. I guess that was the last time it had been cleaned. The backstage smelled exactly like a pet store, basically wood chips and 17 different kinds of shit. It was a big place with the usual menagerie of things to make it loud and bright. A friend of mine came out to take some pictures, so I didn't really bother. I did like the stained glass window over the front door though.

And the image that it cast during the only five minutes of sunshine that we had all week.

Our entrance to the UK (and Ireland) means endless travel via rough road and even rougher seas. The crossing is always at some absurd hour of the night or early morning. There is always the option of staying asleep on the bus, locked on the cargo deck of the ship. I prefer to be above board whenever possible. It's just me.

The ferry is a monumentally depressing place at night. Most tourists travel during the day, but the nighttime is the province of truck drivers and deviants, left to roam the vacant decks of the ship. I prefer it to the hoards of schoolchildren on class trips during the day, plus no one ever plays dance dance revolution at night.

The trip to Dublin was one of the roughest times I've ever had on a boat. I'm not particularly bothered by ships, large or small, or bodies of water, large or small. At around 8 am, having slept for only a few hours I stumbled onto the ferry to find waves crashing along the sides of the boat, and winds gusting to 40 mph. It was wild. Some of us had a blast. 

Until we tried to walk around and found it to be literally impossible without clinging to the handrail like a child or jogging uncontrollably from side to side like a mangled drunk.

Perfume and liquor were strewn all over the duty free shop. It resembled liza minelli's bedroom by the end of it. As the sun came up over Ireland the sea calmed to a subtle rage. Just my luck, we get back on the ferry tonight on the way to Glasgow. Send help.