Friday, April 07, 2006

The Salty Rogue

I hate Nicholas Cage.

He's a terrible actor, an over-privileged Coppola, he married a preteen Asian girl and named his first-born after Superman. Really. I can't recall any movie (bar maybe Adaptation) in which he hasn't shat all over the silver screen and called it a job well done. For further reference see The Rock, Con Air and Face/Off. The Weatherman, however, was pretty damn good. I could almost recommend it.

This is a bit of dialogue that Nicholas Cage has with, well, himself....internal monologue, I suppose. It's pretty great.

Tartar sauce. Tartar sauce. Tartar sauce.
Tartar sauce, tartar sauce, tartar sauce, tartar sauce.
Man, how I'd like to put my face in there.
Right in there. Tartar sauce.
My hips are cold. Tartar sauce.
That's when you know it's cold.
I like eating pussy. Tartar sauce.
A lot of guys don't. Well, maybe they do.
Maybe that's just black guys. Tartar sauce.
What happened to the guy who was trying to go around the world... a balloon? Did he make it?
I should put some espionage...
...or stolen plutonium in my novel. Tartar sauce.
Spice it up. Neil Young. Fuck, it's cold!
Neil Young? Why am I thinking about Neil Young?
Neil Diamond. Neil. There's not a lot of famous Neils.
Is this Wednesday? I wish I had two dicks.
I thought the whole family was going to learn Spanish together this year.
That never really happened.
I haven't had a Spanish omelet in a long time.
Here we go.
Anything else?
Where is the tartar sauce?

Read the rest of the script here, or send Nic Cage a message. Yeah, do that.

I also recently watched All We are Saying, which is essentially Rosanna Arquette interviewing musicians. It was decent. I'm partial to the scene where Maynard Keenan (Tool) explains why monogamy is a lost cause.

..And here's some music for a Saturday morning...

Slint- Washer mp3

Pavement- Killing Moon (Live) mp3

Sebadoh- Skull (Acoustic) mp3

These have been posted around the interweb for ages, but they still make me laugh. Here's the steaming pile of femininity that we call 'the first lady.' Holy hell, she's an alien.



And while I'm a proponent of female empowerment, by (almost) any means, I'm not sure that posing next to a massive winged death machine is really the way forward.

Maybe this purple, furry guy is more her speed. I find that it really 'humanizes her in the eyes of the average American.'

Interesting article on The Untamed Bush as a human figure among a bunch of evil fuckers. Is she still "the only human face left in Washington?" Not too sure.

Happy Saturday!

All Kyuss, almost all of the time...

Yesterday I picked up a copy of 'Sons of Kyuss' at Bleecker Street Records.

It's a not too shabby bit of desert rock, pre-Kyuss, and pre (er) Queens of the Stone Age. Sometimes I like my music loud and dirty, and this fits the bill. Here's most of the record:

Sons of Kyuss - Gardenia (Live) mp3

Sons of Kyuss - King mp3

Sons of Kyuss - Hurricane (Live) mp3

Sons of Kyuss - One Inch Man mp3

Sons of Kyuss - Green Machine mp3

Sons of Kyuss - Supa Scoopa mp3

Sons of Kyuss - Black Widow mp3

Sons of Kyuss - Deadly Kiss mp3

Here's a video for 'Demon Cleaner'

Here's a video from the last Desert Sessions...

I don't mean to be brief, but I'm very busy lying on the couch....

...watching two wheelchair-bound senior citizens battle it out for a Teak dresser on Antiques Roadshow.