I am a 26 year-old child

I went out to dinner the other night and decided that I needed to have a lamp shaped like an assault rifle.

















I also decided, after much sleep deprivation, that this was the most hilarious thing that I had seen in days.















I'm in Adelaide today. Adelaide boasts the highest serial killer ratio per capita in the world. I am flying to Perth, which is the most isolated city in the world. Things are really looking up for me.